On January 1, 2020 I woke up inspired, renewed, and took a spontaneous trip to the desert. Just as I was about to enter through the windy mountainside where I’d be stuck for hours, a long trail of bumper to bumper cars stopped me at the base.

There are things in life we can control and things we can't. I'd argue that one of the things we're here to learn is how to master what we can control in a way that serves the highest parts of ourselves. In other words, it's your work to change your perspective and your attitude in order to create the life that serves your highest good.

Your ability to love yourself dictates the way you feel in your body, in your relationships, and in every other area of your life. It’s not a code you crack and the work is done. In fact, there are moments you might spiral into self-doubt, wake up halfway down the hill, and climb your way back to your heart.

I never went to a psychiatrist, but if I did I’d likely have been diagnosed with clinical depression. I experienced depression throughout my life for no apparent reason. Sometimes I also experienced situational depression like when all of my friends ostracized me in sixth grade or when, two years later, one of my only remaining friends died from a sudden brain aneurism

No one ever told me I could learn to love myself through Breathwork—but I did.

Though we can certainly learn from one another, I believe we each have the power to heal ourselves. I’m a big proponent of working with one or two trusted people to support us on our healing journeys, but we don’t all have the financial means to do so.

Many people don’t have the self-discipline to do the work on their own, but if you are committed and willing, you can make huge changes in your life spending little to no money on healing services.

If you believe you’re alone, you’ll find evidence of it everywhere.

Every single time I listen I find myself back to the three words that changed my life. They are words many of my students come to me seeking connection to. They are words that, once embodied, are life-changing.

They are words whose truth poured out of me on the way home from the airport after a soul retreat in New Mexico. I glanced out at some beautiful trees, felt my soul ignite, and wrote this:

The truth is that I lost myself long before he left me. That's probably partly why he did. Or maybe it really was all because he was lost and completely disconnected from his emotions.

Maybe I was living in some fairytale delusion of my making. Who knows? I don’t, and may never, have the privilege of knowing how he ever truly felt. In some ways I guess it doesn’t matter.

I have fallen far. Very far. I was in an amazing place, and then some big things brought me down. They were things I did my best to handle well, but they slowly chipped away at me.

Fear wants to ruin my life, and I'm not going to let it anymore. All of the worst choices I’ve made in my life have been because I was acting out of fear. On the other hand, fear has also been my one of my greatest teachers. When I’ve let myself see beneath the mask of fear I have discovered great insights about who I am and what I believe, things I wouldn’t have noticed without fear.

Here are some signs that will show you that you’re living in fear and what these fears might be pointing to.